Why am I self-critical

Overcoming Self-criticism

Why am I self-critical? Many of us are familiar with that inner voice that constantly questions our abilities, appearance, and choices. Self-criticism, though common, can significantly impact our self-esteem and overall well-being. In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our lives, shaping the way we communicate, express ourselves, and consume information. While social media platforms offer many benefits, they also have a profound impact on our self-perception and mental well-being. One prevalent consequence is the surge of self-criticism fueled by the

The Origins of Self-Criticism

Humans have an inherent tendency to compare themselves to others. Throughout history, we have used comparison as a means of survival and adaptation. However, in today’s interconnected world, social media amplifies this tendency by providing an endless stream of curated content, leading us to compare our lives and achievements to others, often unfavorably.

We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves fueling self-criticism. Whether driven by societal pressure, perfectionism, or a fear of failure, our internalized standards can become harsh and unrelenting. Social media further contributes to these expectations by presenting idealized versions of life that are absurd, senseless, and irrational to live up to.

Our past experiences, such as childhood upbringing, societal conditioning, and critical feedback from others, shape our self-critical tendencies. Negative encounters or a lack of nurturing environments may lead to the development of a harsher inner critic. Not honoring or accepting who we are has already been programmed by the time we are adults.

The Effects of Social Media on Self-Criticism

Social media platforms have created a highlight reel culture encouraging users to showcase only the best aspects of their lives. Viewing and comparing our +self to others’ carefully curated content can lead to a distorted perception of reality, making us feel inadequate and incapable.

: Social media bombards us with images of idealized beauty, luxurious lifestyles, and professional achievements. Constant exposure to these unrealistic standards can undermine our self-esteem and fuel feelings of inadequacy, as we strive to match a 1 minute display of unattainable perfection.

Social media platforms provide avenues for feedback in the form of likes, comments, and follower counts. Positive feedback provides a false boost to our self-esteem, while negative comments or a lack of validation can reinforce self-critical beliefs, leading to a cycle of seeking external validation and ignoring the internal reality of developing self-esteem. experiencing disappointment when it is not received.

Social media platforms often create a sense of fear of missing out (FOMO), making us feel left out or inadequate when we compare our experiences to those showcased online. This fear fuels self-criticism as we question our choices, activities, and social connections.

Overcoming Self-Criticism in the Age of Social Media

Developing Self-Awareness is important in overcoming self-criticism.  Pay attention to your self-critical thoughts and recognize when they arise. Cultivate self-awareness to differentiate between constructive criticism and destructive self-judgment.

Make sure to challenge Unrealistic Standards. Remind yourself that social media presents a curated version of reality and that everyone has struggles and imperfections. Practice self-compassion and set realistic expectations based on your values and aspirations.

Curate Your Social Media Feed: Be mindful of the content you consume. Unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings or perpetuate comparison. Surround yourself with positive, authentic, and diverse voices that inspire and uplift you.

Seek Support: Share your feelings with trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals. They can provide a supportive space for reflection and offer guidance in challenging self-critical beliefs.

Life your life by making sure you have a healthy balance between engaging in online and offline activities. 


If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, consider exploring animal-assisted therapy . It is a powerful tool for healing and growth. By engaging in therapy to explore your emotions while connecting with a therapy animal in a supportive environment, you can overcome the negative beliefs and patterns that hold you back from embracing a joyous life and more loving and accepting sense of self.

If you’re interested in learning more about animal-assisted therapy and how it can support your mental health, please contact us. We are here to listen.

Wishing you a life filled with self-acceptance.

Dr. Julie and Sadie Quinn (sweet counsel)

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