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How to Let Go of Control
Have you ever known that something was outside your control…but found yourself thinking about it anyway?
Maybe you’re replaying a conversation and wondering what you should have said differently.
You’re waiting for someone to respond to a message.
You’re trying to anticipate what someone at work is going to do.
You’re worrying about a decision you’ve already made.
Or perhaps you’re mentally running through every possible outcome because you believe that if you can just think about it long enough, you’ll finally feel prepared.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Learning how to let go of control can be difficult because control can feel safer than uncertainty.
When we don’t know what’s going to happen, the mind naturally wants answers. Sometimes planning, problem-solving, and taking action are exactly what we need.
But sometimes there isn’t another action to take.
And that’s when learning to let go becomes less about solving the situation and more about learning how to live with the uncertainty surrounding it.
The good news is that letting go isn’t something you have to master overnight.
It’s something you can practice.
Things I Can Control
There are times in life when your mind seems determined to solve something that isn’t entirely yours to solve.
Maybe you’re waiting for someone to make a decision.
You’re wondering what another person thinks about you.
You’re worried about what will happen at work.
You’re trying to figure out whether a relationship is going to work.
Or perhaps something important is uncertain, and your mind keeps running through every possible outcome, hoping that if you think about it long enough, you’ll finally feel prepared.
When life feels uncertain, it can help to stop and ask:
What are the things I can control right now?
That question sounds simple, but the answer can change where you place an enormous amount of emotional energy.
At Animal Assisted Counseling of Indiana, our client-centered approach isn’t about telling someone to “just let go” or stop worrying about things outside their control. If something matters deeply to you, of course you may want to influence how it turns out.
Often, underneath our desire for control is something very human: we want to feel safe, prepared, secure, valued, understood, or certain about what happens next.
The goal isn’t to stop caring.
It’s learning to recognize what belongs to you—and what doesn’t.
Something to Look Forward To
Have you ever noticed how knowing something enjoyable is coming can make an ordinary week feel a little different?
Maybe you’re looking forward to dinner with someone you love on Friday.
Maybe it’s the first cool fall morning, decorating your home for a favorite season, watching the next episode of a show you’ve been enjoying, or having absolutely nothing scheduled on Saturday morning.
Sometimes it isn’t even the event itself that feels good.
Looking forward to it feels good, too.
There’s actually psychology behind that feeling.
Research has found associations between anticipating positive future events and well-being, and experimental research suggests that positive anticipation can generate positive emotion during and after stressful experiences.
That doesn’t mean we need a calendar filled with exciting plans to be emotionally healthy. And it certainly doesn’t mean that having something to look forward to is a treatment for depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, or other mental health concerns.
It does mean that giving ourselves little moments to anticipate may be one meaningful way to bring hope, connection, pleasure, and movement into everyday life.
And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need.
Starting Fresh
There is something about September that can make life feel like it’s beginning again.
Summer starts winding down. School schedules return. Vacations end. The air begins to change. Calendars become more structured, and suddenly there’s a subtle feeling of getting back into a routine.
For some people, September almost feels like a second New Year.
Maybe you’ve noticed it too.
You start thinking about getting organized, taking better care of yourself, returning to something you’ve neglected, changing a habit, setting a boundary, or finally doing something you’ve been telling yourself you’ll get around to “someday.”
But here’s something I want you to remember:
You don’t need January 1, a birthday, a Monday, September—or even a new season—to give yourself permission to begin again.
Starting fresh can happen on an ordinary Thursday afternoon.
It can happen after a difficult morning.
It can happen after you’ve fallen out of a routine.
And it can happen when you simply decide that the way something has been going isn’t the way you want it to continue.
You don’t need a perfect beginning.
You just need a place to begin.
Mental Health Habits
As summer winds down and fall schedules begin to fill up, you may find yourself craving a little more structure.
Vacations end. Kids head back to school. Activities start again. Work schedules become busier. And suddenly those long, flexible summer evenings are giving way to calendars, appointments, homework, earlier sunsets, and a lot more “What do I have tomorrow?”
September can feel like a natural reset.
But if you’re wondering how to create a routine, I want to start with something that may be different from the productivity advice you usually hear:
You don’t need to schedule every minute of your day.
A healthy routine isn’t about squeezing more into your life or becoming perfectly organized. It’s about creating enough predictable structure to support your well-being while still leaving room for flexibility, rest, relationships—and real life.
And most importantly?
Your routine needs to work for you.
End of Summer Blues
How to Start Over in Life
How to Get Out of a Rut
How to Motivate Yourself
Feeling Stuck in Life